Seven Strange Requests I Have Had

Being a custom puppet maker, I do get some very odd requests. Here are some gems:

1.

“So we’d like some puppets which are the size and shape of
newborn babies, so that expentant mothers will be able to cradle them in their arms, and practice other parenting tasks. (Except, we would like them to be bumblebees.)”
2.

“I’m part of an Andrews sisters tribute band. But I’m the only one. So perhaps you could make puppets of the other Andrews sisters to pad it out a bit?”
3.

“Hi there, please could you give me a quote for a cuddly toy radiator?”

4.

“I’m looking for 30 large likeness puppets of myself. My required lead time is 3 weeks.”

5.

“My nine year old has designed this cuddly toy, which he would like to produce and market on a large scale. Could you give me some advice on how to introduce it to a worldwide market?”

6.
“So, my girlfriend lives in Hungary but I am moving to Birmingham and she will miss me, so please could you make a puppet of me instead?”

And of course
7.
“I need a pair of anatomically correct dolls to demonstrate sex positions. The man should be 1 metre tall and the woman 75cm. They need  to have wired arms, legs and… appendages… to demonstrate all the positions in the karma sutra. They needed to have embroidered body hair and nicely rounded breasts and buttocks” [Here client indicates desired shape using hands]
(Unfortunately the finished product didn’t live up to her expectations, and the meeting culminated in her jumping up and down, screaming and throwing things at me.

If you are a potential client, rest assured… her objections included “His skin is too dark” and “Why doesn’t he have an Arab nose?”)

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